YOU DIDN’T FIGHT TO KEEP ME AND NOW YOU’VE LOST ME FOR GOOD
I was the best damn thing that ever happened to you and you couldn’t even fight for me when I needed you the most. Instead, you bailed and left me to my own devices.
You were all I ever wanted. You were all I really needed.
And I never tried to change you into something different.
I accepted your every flaw, your every quirk and your every annoying habit and loved you exactly for who you were.
And what did I get in return? You showing your true colors when the shit hit the fan. You proving to me that I wasted all of my efforts and all of my kindness on a guy who couldn’t fight to keep me when that was all I needed you to do.
I pushed you to be your best self when you were feeling worthless.
I encouraged you to pursue what you were passionate about and never showed you anything but unwavering support and love.
When you had your dark days, I stood by your side. I wiped your tears and I was your shoulder to cry on.
I was always there and you knew you could count on me day and night.
You were my priority and I’d be there when you needed me. But when it came to me, you just couldn’t do the same, could you?
You made me feel worthless and demanding. When we were going through a rough patch, I was so desperately trying to save us and you couldn’t be bothered to lift a finger.
I felt like you truly didn’t care to join me in salvaging our relationship and that hit me like a million knives through my stomach… Was what we had so meaningless to you?
Did I imagine all those nights spent envisioning our future until the early hours of the morning?
Did I imagine you promising me the moon and the stars, even though all I really needed was love and commitment?
Was I alone in this relationship this whole time? You sure made it feel that way.
Do you know what I ultimately realized? You only kept me around because I made you feel better about yourself.
I was the one who believed in you when no one else did and you needed me to be your ego booster.
You needed to feel validated and I foolishly provided you with that, stupidly believing it was love that you felt. But no… I was just convenient.
I thank God I realized this. Because if I hadn’t, I’d be struggling with this so much more… but you’ve made this break-up so much easier on me.
I never really had you. And once I came to terms with that, the getting over part was a piece of cake.
You had your dramas, your issues, your fits of anger and you’d take it all out on me like I was there merely to be your sounding board.
And when I had my own problems and when I was going through my shit, you called me clingy and sensitive.
If I had a problem with your inflated ego and your anger issues, I was too emotional.
I was never entitled to feel how I truly felt. You belittled me, my feelings and my beliefs.
And I put up with it, thinking it could all magically turn around…
It never did and thank God it didn’t because now I see you’re not the person I want to spend my life with.
I am way too good for you. I’m strong, patient and tolerant. I am a good listener and I’m there within seconds when I’m needed.
I’m not clingy—I care! I’m not overly sensitive—I’m emotionally invested when I’m in love! And I’m not difficult to handle—you’re just too damn difficult to please!
And now, even if you wanted me back, this ship has sailed and it’s never coming back.
You’ve lost me for good because now I know what to look for and who to steer clear of.
This is my final goodbye to you, as I’m finally comfortable in my own skin and at peace with my life as it is.
You pushed me away but I’ve landed on my feet. And I finally feel damn good about myself!